Been away for almost 2 years.... Who would have thought that my life will really change for just a small period of time.... Life is a constant change, nothing is permanent except death...
Death.... I hate this word now... I hate because 10 February 2013 at 3pm my bf died... he died of Liver cancer.. we only got to know he had cancer when it was diagnosed stage 4... no one expected that he will have that... Sometimes I ask God, why good people suffer the most? I keep on reading things and what I always find is that, God has already set His plan for everyone of us... He already set it ahead, and only Him knows about our future...
Now that he's gone, im quite not sure what my life would be... Maybe because I'm used to be around him, I used to ask his opinion, I used to listen to his decision... I used to do things with him.... He was like the air im breathing, he was everything to me... But now it's all gone... I was not prepared of him leaving me... leaving me for good.... I can't SMS him and expect for a reply, I can't call him and expect to answer my call.... I can't expect a surprise every single day... Everything changed.... Everything were like taken from me...
I haven't moved on yet... I haven't accepted the truth.... It's difficult, it's painful... It's tormenting.... My parents keep on telling me, that life has to go on, we can't do anything to change what had already happened but you can still change what's yet to happen....
Now I'm trying to live my life normal as possible... I hope that everything will be fine... that at one point, I can leave all the memories in a bag and just keep it and don't carry it.... I hope that I can see a light shining on me, that I can regain the happiness I once had. For now, I'm letting God control my life. I'm letting him carry my burden, I am letting him show me the correct path...
P.S.
Just opened my account and found that this blog was unpublished for almost 3 years. My bad..
