Who would have thought....

Who would have thought that one day, life will strike you so hard, push you to your limits and hit rock bottom... No one ever wanted that to happen but it still happens.

You wouldn't know when your life will be taken away. You wouldn't have any idea that the person you love and trust will fool and hurt you so bad. You'll never know how hard it would be having a broken heart unless you are in that situation. You will never have an idea how to put the broken pieces back together.

Now I do not know how long is my battle, how long before everything becomes better or maybe it might just end not in a good way.

I do not know when I'll get my things back from my previous lover, whether he'll ever gonna give it back to me or not. I am on his mercy...

Why there's people who are always being struck by problems more than once in one go. Why it must come in pairs??? 

God save me please, take all my sorrows and pains away. Let me live longer, make me happy once more. Let me have all my things back and let me have peace of mind... 

Death

Been away for almost 2 years.... Who would have thought that my life will really change for just a small period of time.... Life is a constant change, nothing is permanent except death...

Death.... I hate this word now... I hate because 10 February 2013 at 3pm my bf died... he died of Liver cancer.. we only got to know he had cancer when it was diagnosed stage 4... no one expected that he will have that... Sometimes I ask God, why good people suffer the most? I keep on reading things and what I always find is that, God has already set His plan for everyone of us... He already set it ahead, and only Him knows about our future...

Now that he's gone, im quite not sure what my life would be... Maybe because I'm used to be around him, I used to ask his opinion, I used to listen to his decision... I used to do things with him.... He was like the air im breathing, he was everything to me... But now it's all gone... I was not prepared of him leaving me... leaving me for good.... I can't SMS him and expect for a reply, I can't call him and expect to answer my call.... I can't expect a surprise every single day...  Everything changed.... Everything were like taken from me...
I haven't moved on yet... I haven't accepted the truth.... It's difficult, it's painful... It's tormenting.... My parents keep on telling me, that life has to go on, we can't do anything to change what had already happened but you can still change what's yet to happen....

Now I'm trying to live my life normal as possible... I hope that everything will be fine... that at one point, I can leave all the memories in a bag and just keep it and don't carry it.... I hope that I can see a light shining on me, that I can regain the happiness I once had. For now, I'm letting God control my life. I'm letting him carry my burden, I am letting him show me the correct path...

P.S. 
Just opened my account and found that this blog was unpublished for almost 3 years. My bad..

Found a new Job!!!

2 weeks after i resigned, I found a new job which is Onsite IT Engineer. It's tiring when i travel from one place to another, also I am not used to this kind of flexi time. My boss will just SMS or call me if he needed me to go onsite otherwise I'll just stay at home and wait for his call.

I somehow miss the old setup, where I have my own PC, cabinet, desk. That I can decorate my place and I can still wear heels, now everything changes... From being glamour to being plain and simple me. No makeups, no heels no fancy clothes. Imagine me wearing heels and dress while going under the table to plug the Ethernet, cables and wires... haha that could be a really blooper..

I just wanted to gain experience and once I'm ready, I can explore other things... well good luck to me.. :)

Thank God, for not letting me down and to my family with their support and to my boyfriend who is always on my side.

The Challenge Begins

After almost 1 week of resigning from my position, I am now back to zero, to a stage where you will need to find a job you want, impress your interviewers and nail it. I hope It is as easy as like that.

From the time I resigned, I was only interviewed once but i did receive calls though. God, my heart is pounding every minute, afraid not to find a job in a month. If I can't find a job, I will be forced to get out of this country, I hope not. In a way, this is my second home. I am comfortable here, I have friends and I really love the environment.

Now I am trying to study Windows Servers, trying to learn new things, new technologies. I wanted to pursue being an IT Professional. I wanted to become one of the best if not great in the future. I have plans, great plans ahaead but if I can't find a job that will slowly fall apart.

I am really trying, hoping and praying that I can get a job sooner.

Oh Lord, please help overcome the challenges and trials I am facing everyday. Give me strength and wisdom and show me the path to the right way.

Risky Move

This is my first blog since college and I hope that I am still fit to write and blog...

4 months after my college graduation, year 2008 I came here in Singapore from Philippines to try my luck and look for a job. I was so desperate to look for a job and the recession period even made it harder to find a suitable job. It was Nov 2008 when an opportunity arrived on my door; since I was so desperate I grabbed it.

From 2008 till now, I am still serving the company as BB Support but now I realized that there's no career growth, nothing new things to learn. I am stuck to what I'm doing and will be stuck forever if i do not decide to quit. 2 months ago, I’ve been thinking things over. I can't just quit my job without finding a new job. I thought it will be easy to find even with 2 months’ notice period for resignation, well, I guess I am wrong... That's why I finally decided to quit and apply for job while serving my 2 months’ notice period..

My 2 months is left with 2 weeks now and I still haven't found a job... I'm starting to be anxious.... Will I ever find a job in just 2 weeks’ time? Will I ever find a job that I really really like?

Every night, I make sure that I am submitting at least 10 applications. I am happy that at least some of them responds and calls me. I hope I'll get to be interviewed soon.

I know that what I did is a risk... Quitting a job without finding a new job but then I know that's the only way I can get out. I have faith in God, I am sure He will never leave my side. He will help me to find what I really wanted. It's just a matter of doing my BEST and HE will do the rest.

Life is hard, but God is good—all the time.